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We know beer is supposed to be a lot stronger across the pond, but this is moonshine territory.

According to the Daily Mail, 33-year-old Kevin Chapman of Kent, England was arrested for allegedly attempting to have sex with a Suzuki motorcycle on a busy roadway.

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Witnesses said Chapman exposed his genitals and grinded his pelvis into the motorbike. He had reportedly been drinking on the day of the allegation. Chapman is also believed to have punched and kicked the motorcycle.

He’s been charged with indecent exposure and criminal damage. Chapman said he remembered dropping his pants, but denied the exposing and the grinding part. He also reportedly denied kicking and punching the motorcycle and claimed he was pushed into it by homeless people.

Bizarre as hell, yes, but it sounds like a phenomenon called objectophilia in which people become sexually attracted to inanimate objects like buildings and bridges.

One of these nutjobs even married the Eiffel Tower.

At least a motorcycle’s got curves!

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