I’m not so much impressed with this girl-on-girl fight that took place on South Padre Island as I am with what the internet turned it into.
First, you need to see this video. This little white chick has clearly picked the wrong biddy to tangle with. Between the dead-eyed look on this Red Sox fan’s face and the one-blow knockout punch she delivers, it’s obvious the victor is having none of this entire situation, let alone the antagonist’s behavior.
Like, damn. Damn, damn, damn. Our Sox supporter is 100 percent business, rolling up her sleeves, clenching her fists and delivering what BroBible has ever-so-accurately classified as a Falcon Punch (if you don’t know the reference, please do us all a favor and go back to 1997 so you can play some Super Smash Bros and get your head in the game, folks) to her would-be opponent. Boom. Done. Is there a doctor on board?
Oh, but the fireworks have only just begun, as we can see from Part Two of this encounter.
That lil white girl is down. Her supporters, if there were any, are nowhere to be found. Her detractors, however, take up the cause in full force, with one random chick stepping in to full-on twerk over this girl’s unconscious form.
There are, of course, shouts of what seems like pure, unadulterated surprise (and maybe a little glee) from the middle school-esque crowd surrounding the fracas. But the real gem—for me, at least—isn’t so much the fight itself as the post-fight commentary. BroBible’s analysis is, well, special. It comes replete with vocabulary from pretty much every corner of the internet stuffed into one short post—from the headline’s “Falcon Punch” 90s reference to the nonplussed “she dead”—along with a gif of a 40 being poured out and, um, what appears to be more than one comparison to Selena Gomez. Frankly, I’m astounded.
But I guess an amazing fight vid deserves equally incredible commentary. Now, where’s the person shouting “WORLD STAR!!!” in all of this?