Dating Expert Says Women Who Have Male Friends Are Not Relationship Material

Social media dating expert David de las Morenas just got a whole lot of people’s panties in a twist. In a viral TikTok post on @HowToBeast, he and his partner gave “3 low-key red flags in women.” Specifically, they said women who have male friends aren’t relationship material. This led to an onslaught of comments about whether men and women can be platonic friends.

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Can Men and Women Be Friends? @HowToBeast Says Women Can’t Be Trusted

The post brought up an age-old question of whether men and women can be friends or not. Psychologists have been just as curious about this as the rest of the population. One year, a study will claim it’s not possible. The next year, an expert will claim the contrary. And then there are many personal opinions and tales of personal experiences claiming that they absolutely know for a fact that it is or isn’t possible.

Here were the 3 red flags:

  1. “She fails to thank you or show you any type of gratitude.”
  2. “She has male friends.”
  3. “She manipulates you in small ways.”

Analyzing David de las Morenas’ 3 Red Flags

Numbers 1 and 3 seem like givens. Also, they can surely apply to men and women. A man who fails to show gratitude or who engages in manipulative behavior also waves a red flag. Those kinds of behaviors can be caused by a wide range of root causes, ranging from general unhappiness to utter cluelessness to full-blown personality disorder to infidelity.

Flag #2 is the big question, though. Can men and women be friends? David de las Morenas aka @HowToBeast says absolutely not. In his words, “aside from very rare scenarios, when a guy and a girl are talking, it is not platonic. And even if she’s not interested in him, he’s probably interested in her and then she likes having that validation.”

Research Points to Men Being More Likely to Want Something More From Their Friendships With Women

Of note is the fact that de la Morenas mentioned that the underlying reason why men and women can’t be friends is because men will probably be interested in the women they befriend.

“The point is, if a girl has male friends that she regularly sees or even just texts with, that’s the type of girl who’s always going to have 1 foot out the door in a relationship,” de la Morenas continued.

Scientific American wrote that “men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being ‘just friends.’” The reasons for this were variations on how men are very likely to see their “platonic’ female friends as having romantic potential. This was true even when women thought their relationship was solely platonic.

A 2022 study published by Tobias Altmann in the Journal of Individual Differences addressed this question from the view of value systems. According to Altmann, people who valued tradition and conformity were less likely to have friends of the opposite sex. This was largely due to avoidance of uncomfortable feelings. He also claimed that older men and women were more likely to have opposite-sex friends. Additionally, women — and women only — were more likely to engage in platonic friendships with men due as a way of exercising self-direction and autonomy.

While there is no definitive answer, it seems that the red flag should really be pointed toward men in this case. A woman who has male friends really might think they are platonic. A man who has female friends seems more likely to want something else.

Read More: Influencer Harassed by Man After Refusing to Sit With Him at Pool, Films Entire Incident

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  1. This is hogwash. I grew up with brothers and had guys friends all my life. My husband grew up with sisters and has friends that are women. He knows how to behave himself around women, just like i do around men. We are not just the sum of our sexual parts. Please stop spreading this misinformation. Its really destructive and leads to people unable to have honest relationships. And just a lot of putting male/female behaviour in a box.

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