Don’t try this at home. I’m serious. Do not ever do this or attempt to do this or attempt to goad someone into doing this; you are literally taking your life into your own hands.
That said, let’s all watch while these Finnish bros ride this logging machine like it’s a mechanical bull in a middle-American dive bar. Nothing quite like a country-western tune mashed up with footage of these log-riding Finns holding on for dear life. At least they’re tethered to this hellish contraption so they don’t straight-up die when they’re tossed.
“Punishment is public humiliation with tar and feathers.” Nah, dude. Punishment is breaking your goddamn neck. There’s a reason these people invented black metal. Like, this is the Land of the Midnight Sun. This is a country that, during any given year—behind places like Hungary, South Korea and (who’d’ve guessed it?) Japan—has one of the highest suicide rates in the world.
After witnessing this spectacle, there’s no denying it anymore: The Finnish people simply long for the sweet embrace of death. And right now, the quickest, most bizarre way into that embrace has to do with riding a log until you fall off. It’s all very Freudian.