Armed forces get first ever military-grade sex toy, bringing a whole new meaning to the term “Army of One” Getty Images

The military has always been on the forefront of cutting edge technology with weapons, communications and whatever other scientific know-how is available out there to help our troops protect the country, as they should be.

With the advent of the world’s first ever male sex toy constructed with military-grade materials, that now includes masturbation. Engineered to meet or exceed “MIL-STD-810, the most rigorous set of performance tests for operation under extreme environmental conditions,” the aptly named Lifetime Silicone Stroker promises to keep our boys satisfied in even the world’s harshest locations.

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Made with 100 percent non-porous silicone, this puppy is guaranteed to stop the foul-smelling bacteria that’s likely to present itself after a workout from even forming. Now that’s military tough and it explains the $80 price tag.

Beats the hell out of saltpeter, though.

(h/t Maxim)

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