Could the remains of a guy killed at Pompeii be fodder for the oldest masturbation joke of all time? Instagram Screenshot

Back in 79 A.D., the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius was one of the deadliest volcanic disasters of all-time, with the town of Pompeii getting totally wiped out and thousands of people dying in the process.

A devastating tragedy no doubt, but just recently it looked like we had found some comedy in the midst of it after archaeologists discovered the remains of a man killed in the volcano who looked like he was in the throes of some serious private time. Naturally, the internet had a field day.

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Unfortunately, scientists went and ruined all the fun when they disclosed information that explained the positioning of the man. According to Men’s Health, archaeology expert Pierpaolo Petrone of the University of Naples shared what he thinks is responsible for the positioning of the remains.

“The individual in the photo is an adult man, killed by the hot pyroclastic surge (hot gas and ash cloud, which killed most of the population living around Mount Vesuvius), with both arms and legs flexed due to the heat,” he said.


So, in reality, the man could’ve just been doing his dishes or something before Vesuvius laid waste to his home. But to us, he’ll always be the masturbating man of Pompeii and no uppity scientists are going to change that.

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